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I feel the rust breeding, eroding my bones. I see myself drowning, my feet etched in stone. And it’s haunting to think that my will has faltered and faded again. Have I settled for even less than I ever wanted to have? I said ‘I don’t need much’ but this was not what I meant.
I haven’t slept much for the past weeks ‘cause there’s more fog in my head than there rests over this sleeping street. Nausea and deprived senses got me questioned over everything.
I barely know what I'm doing. I see a bright light in front of me. Could this be the light at the end of the tunnel here to set me free? Blinding lights and howling horns. The black dog is out and he’s swallowing me whole. All I ever wanted was to never see these depths again. So driver, full speed ahead please, straight into hell. I am everything I never wished to be. Pessimistic, self-centred, pretentious, apathetic, isolated, alienated. devastated by loneliness, deeply depressed, highly jealous, slightly over obsessed, frustrated, fixated on hatred but the most important reason why I'm still here is that I'm so afraid of death. And oh, I’m so sorry to say. I know we’re all in the gutter but dear Oscar; I've lost all track of the stars.

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from Escapism Is A Dying Art, released November 5, 2011

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